Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Witch,
What should I do... Cloud suddenly so cold to me... What did I do this time...? Just because I never pair up with him for IMMF project... Just because I pair up with Falco... He is mad with me..? Is he trying to tell me something... Is he jealous?? Or did I just think too much...?
He is always trying to push me to other guys... First is Alvin... Second is Falco... I am not an object that can be pushed to other people... What is he really thinking.... *Ahhh....* Help me... I am out of wits... What can I do... I like him... But he keep on doing all this things... What can I do...? But my feelings tell me.. He has something in his mind... It isn't what I see from the surface...
I need a rose...!!! He love me... He love me not... He love me... He love me not...!!!
Honey Boo|
9:03:00 PM
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Witch,
Everybody now is listening from my point of view... It's unfair for Cloud... So now I should tell the story from Cloud's point of view... *Hmm...* How to say..
Cloud is that type of guy who dont fall in love so easily... And he this the type of guy who like to plan ahead... If there is no future in his and his partners... He wont want to start a relationship with her... As he wont want to hurt the one he think is important...
He dont know how to express himself clearly... (This is what i think...) He thinks that friends and his special ones are very important to him... And he minds a lot of how they think of him... But he dont know how to maintain the friendship...
He is really a very soft-hearted guy.. He is also a guy who remember about the past and could not let go of it...
*Hmm...* Hope that people out there dont blame him for hurting me... He dont do it in purpose... But when you ask me whether will I hate him... Or blame him... The answer is no... Will I still like him... *Hmmm....* Yes I will... Why...? Not because I am stubborn... Just belief in my own faith... In addition.. I am a kind of girl once I like a person... I will not put down that person easily even though he rejected me... *Silly huh...?*
Anyway... Thanks a million to those friends who is helping me bypass the sad days... Especially Pebbles and Alvin... And all the girls in the class... *Friends forever...*
Honey Boo|
7:38:00 PM
Witch,
Today weather assemble my feeling and my emotions... Raining... Dim... *Hmm...*
Cloud... Four things that you have to promise me... I will write it here.. Firstly.... Take care of yourself... Dont do anything silly to just remember me.... You know what I mean... Secondly... Treat your future girlfriend nicely.. *Haha..* Thirdly... Get the best results you can... Dont disappoint your parents... Fourth... Dont noe... *Haha...* When I know what I wan I will tell you...
Dont worry about me... I will be fine... We will move on as buddies... Ok? *Haha...*
Honey Boo|
10:44:00 AM
Monday, July 25, 2005
Witch,
Now I dont have to wait to friday... I finally get the answer.. It's a bad answer... Cloud decided to be friend... Be buddies like he and Pebbles... I accepted... And say no more... I dont wan to pressure him anymore... He has so many things in his mind... And I dont want to add on to his trouble...
I promise... 1 week of saddness... Cry all I wan for 1 week... Do whatever I want in 1 week... After that... I will try to move on...
Anyway... Thanks for giving me all the happy memories... Memories in the library... Memories in the bus stop... That is enough... Maybe I shall keep my feelings in my heart... And dont ever tell anybody...
I can do it... Witch... You can do it... You are strong, arent you... Proof that.. Proof to everybody.... *Opps..* Feeling giddy.. Shall not continue...
Honey Boo|
11:27:00 PM
Witch,
Awaiting for friday.... I am not practically wild guess... What can I do... *Hmm...* Sit and wait for the answer?? Really?? Will the answer be good or bad...? Help... Practically no mood to do anything... No mood to eat anything.... Dont have any concentration to do anything...
God.... Help me...!!! Friday... Where are you... When will you arrive... Help...!!
Honey Boo|
7:58:00 PM
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Witch,
Today can say is a mixture of happiness and sadness... Cloud finally said something about the relationship... He said that he wanted to have a relationship... But he was unsure of his feeling to me... *Sigh*... Can somebody help me... Help... I need help... What can I do...?
He said that he will try to like me... If he cant like me then he will give up... And the said that he does this for me... Isnt it very forcing...? I really puzzle... Help...!!!
Honey Boo|
7:02:00 PM
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Witch,
In the end... Cloud really came to find me... And I also found out that Pebbles really understand Cloud a lot... Pebbles told me that Cloud maybe have something in his mind... And really.. Cloud admitted that he have something in his mind... Pebbles.. You are so smart...
Anyway... It is just a misunderstanding... He never see my sms that I sent... That's why he never reply me... All my fault that I misunderstood him...
Why cant I have the ability to understand people... Then there wont be so many misunderstanding... Why am I so stupid...? I should learn how to understand people...!!!
Honey Boo|
5:35:00 PM
Witch,
So unhappy today... At this point of time.. I am at the library writing my blog and crying.. Is Cloud avoiding me..? Is he angry with me...? Is he thinking that I am irrating... Is he unhappy about me..? Or it is just an misunderstanding..? I had one hundred and one question in my mind... Why do I have all these question...? Or am I just thinking too much again... But...
I smsed him in the morning... He never reply me back... I called him... He even hang up my phone... I just sms him 5 mins ago... But no sign of reply...
Therefore I sms Pebbles... She has a very good understand of her friends.. So before I could say anything... She knows what had happened... She asked me not to think so much and go home... But I think i will stay in the library and see whether does Cloud come and find me... I really hope to know what really happened...
Update in the night..
Honey Boo|
11:11:00 AM
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Witch,
Today I done a couple of personailty tests... Hope you all can understand me more through this...
Results...:
You care for people. Other people's small matters easily shock you. You look brave, but in fact you are hiding weaknesses inside. You often talk about your faults or things that you think you could have done better again and again, though no one criticizes you about them.
You are logical, smart and inventive. It's okay for you to make people think that you are a little self-centered. You just focus on what you're doing.
You are a quick thinker, efficient, and always in a rush. If you expect everyone to be like you, this only causes frustration and stress. You don't want to waste your time, but can be careless and pessimistic.
The most important thing in your life is a person you like.
The type of friends that you want is talkative.
You care so much about keeping your relationships.
When communicating with the one you like, you think you know him/her, but sometimes you're not sure.
Haha...! Isnt it true... *Sign*... Should I be happy that the test is true... Or should I be sad for the result...
Honey Boo|
8:57:00 PM
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Witch,
Tommorrow is Common Test Week.. So scared... Will I fail? Will I pass with flying colours? *Puzzled*... Pebbles... Cannot always say fail then fail... Nothing great... Cloud and I care for you... Although we cannot always help you... But no matter what... We will be there for you ok...? Work hard.. *Kan-Ba-Te*...
Today when to Orchard for my shopping spree... As it is the last day sales for Robinson and John Littles... But I didnt buy much things... *Sob*... Cannot find any clothes that caught my eyes and also cannot find any shoes that I think suit me... *Wow*.. It's so late... But I cannot sleep... Help... What is bothering me? Why is my mind full of questions... Why is my heart full of loneliness...
Am i really a girl that cannot live with a relationship?? There are a lot of guys outside right...? Dont give up the whole forest just because of one tree... Right?? Say it is easy... But doing it is difficult...
Honey Boo|
11:36:00 PM
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Witch,
Yesterday after my opera rehearsal... I came home with my dragging feet... But when I reached my bed and laid down... I could not sleep... Then I looked at my phone... And saw Egg's message... So I called him... I admitted to Egg that I like Cloud... However... Cloud said clearly that he dont like me... I know that... However when I think of this... I will always cry... *Sign*...
I still remember... I saw Cloud wore a ring.. Therefore I ask him what does that stand for... He told me that the ring is to remind himself to behave and what he promise himself... *Sigh*... I know he regretted on what he had done... And i know he felt gility about it.. Therefore he is trying to compensate me on what he done... But i felt bad about it... I am practically taking this reason.. To cling onto him...For instance... When he is online.. I will talk to him until he go offline... There was one night... I talk to him on msn too late that he get a slap from his mother... I felt so bad... Really felt bad... I know I shouldnt have done that... But... *Sign*...
Sorry for all the trouble I caused for you Cloud... Sorry...
Honey Boo|
3:14:00 PM
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Witch,
Thanks Cloud... Today you really brighten up my live... You are really sweet today... Millions of thanks... But when I heard that you are being slapped by your mother on monday... That really make my heart sank... Sorry... Just because to accompany me online then you are being slapped by your mother... I felt bad... Really felt bad about it... Dont be sorry about those things you did to me... (You should know what is it...) It's ok... It's just an act of friendship... I understand... Haha... Thanks again...!
Honey Boo|
6:35:00 PM
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Witch,
*Sigh*... Why so many things happened in these two days.. Why... Dont know what to type... *Troubled*.... Help... Anybody can help me... Please...! Why would Egg talk bad behind of me... Why...? Egg... You love me so u talk bad about me... Is that logic..? I cannot stand you anymore... Stay far far away if you still think that we can patch... No hope... Dont bother to change your character or what-so-ever... Save it... I wont fall to you again... I wont..!
If you still want to be my didi... Please.. Stop all those craps... If not dont hope for anything...!
Honey Boo|
10:07:00 PM
Monday, July 11, 2005
Witch,
Time flies... Last night I really have a very, very long night... But luckily... Cloud trusted me instead.. I am so delighted... I thinking why would Egg say those things to Cloud to make CLoud dont trust me... I hate you Egg...
Last night... Somebody admitted something that make me happy... Yes... It's you Cloud... You always say that you are not good to have a girlfriend... I tell you.. You are not... Dont always think that you must be perfect to have a girlfriend... But i admire your determination... So... You are waiting for me to me say something to you right... *Hmmm*.. I will i will... *Haha*... Last night those things you said is true, isnt it? Cannot imagine... You admitted... *Haha*...
Dont be sad over things... Witch... Why you always disappoint yourself..? You swear to yourself and Cloud... You must be happy... You must be... Why always disappoint yourself..? Why do like to think so much when you are alone..? Why can't you just bear with the loneiness... Why? Crying and being sad cannot solve anything... Witch.. Remember that.. You are not lonely... You are not...! You still have yourself..! Your best friend... Yourself...! And your good friend... Yourself..! See friends...! *Crying*
Honey Boo|
11:27:00 AM
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Witch,
What a tiring day... I had my Cantonese Opera rehearsal today... So sad... I was scolded by my teacher today because I cannot concentrate on my actions.. And couldnt fulfill the things he wanted me to do... *Sigh*... Reason is because of Cloud went to ask my didi something... I wasnt hiding anything... But just dont wan to talk about the past... It is as if I am adding salt to a healing wound.. Pain and Pain... Why I have such a bad wound that have to take such a long time to heal...
I really have a very bad night... I cried... I am full of sadness... I couldnt help it... Knowing something in it's ugly side is very bad... I know something fishy happening out there.. And I finally get to know the answer... I am really sad.. Really have nothing to say.. Cloud... Is up to you to believe in which party... If you believe in him.. Then so be it... I also have nothing to say... To egg... I have nothing to say...
Honey Boo|
11:19:00 PM
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Witch,
Today I was woken up my by my didi... He claimed that I like Cloud... *Puzzled*... He ask me to look that Cloud's blog.. Cloud said that when he talk to the girls I turn and walk away... Does that means I like him... *Puzzled*... In the end is just Cloud type wrongly... Why do you like to think so much..? As if you are just beside me and you saw the whole situation... *Sigh*.. Why my life is miserable..? Why...? Sometimes I really want to end my life just with a slash on my wrist... Where is my source of sadness..? Can somebody tell me the answer? Can somebody can be kind enough to brighten up my life..? Please..!
Didi... When you really walk out of our relationship... That will end my sorrow and gain my happiness again... If you really cannot walk out the relationship.. I will continue to live in sadness...
Honey Boo|
10:22:00 AM
Friday, July 08, 2005
Witch,
Wow... Can you believe it... I was so angry with the CM teacher that I left the lesson when break time... He is really an idiot... He said that if we dont close the 'machine' (laptop he meant) he will mark us late... Stupid right... Then when friends ask for help on his homework... He say that give him chance to teach... Wait he finish teaching then ask him... So stupid right...! Whole stomach of fury... In full rag of anger.. Almost the whole class walk out of the class... I am so proud myself... Hahahahaha...! *Angry*
Following this post is to my ah di.. Egg.. I will shower you with care and concern until you can show care and concern to yourself... You always dont study, dont eat proper, dont sleep proper... Dont always think that I am not your stead... That means the world is towards the end... I can always be your very best friend and the very best sister... And dont forget.. There is always somebody else awaits for you.. Dont close up yourself... Try to be open to others... Advises to you... Remember to control your temper... Not all of your friend can tolerate your temper... And also remember.. Dont think so much... Give yourself a break... Thinking so much wont give you anything but sorrows and problems... REMEMBER...!!
Hmm... I think all for the time being... Anything else will type it tommorrow...
Honey Boo|
11:43:00 AM
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Witch,
Egg.. Today post will be for you... Since you always beg for 2 days to be ur
"girlfriend" right..? I will give it to you... This is what you want right..? I give it to you... But dont blame me to treat u as cold as ice... Take it or leave it... After these 2 days.. Dont ever disturb me anymore... I will hate you forever..
You always been asking me why i hate you so much... Now i tell you..! Listen hard...!
Firstly, you always been self-centered... What is self centered..? Think about it yourself... Secondly, what u did to me in the past..! Yes.. Although you always tell me that i have to forget about the past and move on... But..! Think it this way... I asked you to forget about me and relationship... Can you? Thirdly, I am a slut... I agree STRONGLY to your parents... So why bother to save the relationship with a slut..? Thirdly.. You are always bothering me.. Controlling my life... As though I am living in your life instead of my own... I cannot see this guy... I cannot talk to that guy... I have enough of it already... You must be thinking.. When did i do this..? And the answer is yes, you did it... James' case is the best proof... When you see James and I walking together... And you have the urge to beat him up..! Forth... You always say without me you cannot study... Cannot sleep... Cannot eat... Without me you will die.. This will sound that I am very important to you... But please... You are giving me pressure instead... People cannot live without another... So please.. Stop that...
I really have enough of this... I really hope you can keep that PROMISE.. After that 2 days... LEAVE ME ALONE...!!!
Honey Boo|
10:30:00 PM
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Witch,
Today is a very tiring day... PSP test, ES1 mock test... Ahhh... HTML date due is getting nearer and nearer... And I havent really complete the project... Why is life in poly is so tough...
Hmm... Lucky there is something happened in my class that lightened my day... James and Sueann is friends again... They joke, talk and Sueann even took the intiative to ask James question... Haha... I did a good deed.. Did I??
But then Egg spolit my mood the rest of my day... He is always my root of saddness... Should I make him do that promise or I should just dont care about him... *Puzzled*...
Why is my life always so miserable...? *Sob.. Sob..*
Honey Boo|
8:54:00 PM
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Witch,
Hello everyone.... A very warm welcome to my blog... This is my first time writing a blog... Any comments to my blog can leave me a msg...
Today is a sad and happy day for me... *Puzzled*... Sad because have to finish 2 projects in 2 days and also because of tmr's PSP test... I dont even have time to study... Happy because Sueann and James finally talk to each other... I really have a hard time to convince Sueann not to be angry with him... I made it... Muhahahaha....
**James Tan... U owe me 2 meals**
Honey Boo|
10:36:00 PM
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